Sharkura
by Mereo Flere
Summary: Damn it, Zouken.


"Sharkura" by Mereo Flere

Disclaimer: I don't own Fate/Stay Night.

A/N: Another fic I posted on Beast's Lair before, based on a picture drawn by ItsaRandomUserName.

XXX

I held no particular love for the man known as Zouken, but I never really hated him either. He was part of our family – an old part – but to be honest I had never been really concerned about him. He showed up what he wanted to, did whatever he wanted to, and more or less left me alone. Sure, there was no doubt he had committed countless sins in his lifetime, but that was practically expected for a magus. Besides, it wasn't as though he had done any of those things to me personally…until now that is.

Damn it, Zouken.

"I refuse," I told him, angrily crossing my arms over my chest. "There's no way you're getting to me to do that with that," I continued, gesturing at the pit the two of us were standing besides.

The man shook his head as he reached out with a wrinkled hand, placing it on my shoulder. I brushed it off immediately, shivering as I touched his rotten body with my bare hand. "I understand you have concerns about this," he said, unbothered by my reaction to his "skinship." "But I assure you, this is for our family's best interests, Shinji."

"No," I said, remaining firm in my resolve. "This is… this is just wrong."

"Don't worry, it's consensual," he said, trying to reassure me. It didn't, not one single bit. "She's waiting for you."

My eyes twitched as I glance over to 'her' – and I didn't have to look in a mirror to know that I had started to scowl. I had no doubt that 'she' was waiting for me, but that didn't mean I had any intention to answer the call. "It's not consensual at all!" I said as I stomped my foot. "In fact, I'm opposed to this completely all the way, right from the start, forever and ever, and everything in between!"

Zouken sighed, shaking his head in disappointment. I couldn't say that it bothered me in the least to betray his expectations. "Is this because it's your sister?" he asked me, looking into the pool of water inside of the pit.

My eye twitched. "I refuse to accept that thing as my sister!" I said, pointing dramatically at the pool – or, more importantly, what was swimming inside of it. Even in this dim light, I could still make out the fin circling around the center of the pool.

"Then I don't see what the problem is," Zouken said, with a frown. "It's not like it is actually incest. She's only adopted, anyway, so it's not like it would be even a crime."

Incest? As if that was the problem. This was goddamn bestiality. "It absolutely is a crime!" I said, glaring at him. "It's a crime against humanity! It's a crime against nature! Most importantly, it's a crime against me!"

"Aren't you exaggerating a little?" Zouken asked, raising a brow.

"It's a goddamn shark! A man eating great white shark!"

"That's a little harsh," Zouken said with a frown. "Sure, she has her faults, but look! She has a wonderful smile. Look at all of those teeth she has."

"Those are for eating people! It'll use them to eat me!"

"Then you can just pay her back her kindness by eating her as well," he said as he stroked his chin. I didn't want to even consider what he was referring to; my poor mind wouldn't be able to take it. "Don't worry about being inadequate lover; I'm sure you'll do just fine."

"I'll die!" I shouted, though to be honest I should have realized by then that it wouldn't have reached him. The bastard was senile and crazy, unable to tell the difference between a goddamn person and a freaking shark.

"Nonsense," Zouken said, fanning his hand. "Have more confidence in yourself."

"No amount of confidence will keep me from getting eaten by a goddamn shark!"

"Shinji," Zouken said, obviously getting impatient. "Just get down there and fuck your sister."

Once again, I cross my arms. "I refuse!" I declared, glaring at him. On this issue alone, I refused to budge. I had my pride as a man – and, barring that, my dignity as a person who didn't try to fuck sharks – on the line after all.

Zouken stared back at me, giving me another once over. No doubt he saw I was serious for once – that no amount of persuasion would convince me to go down there. "Well then," he said with a shrug. "I guess you leave me with no choice."

I smiled. For a moment, I believed he had finally seen the truth for what it was – a goddamn freaking shark that would eat anybody that went down there. "So, does that mean you're going to give up?"

"Give up?" he said, raising a brow as though it was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard in his life. "I. AM. ZOUKEN."

…and, just like in a scene from a certain movie, the old man stepped forward – raising his foot in preparation to kick me down the pit. Fortunately for myself, I had seen 300 (and over a dozen parody videos of this exact scene on youtube), and easily sidestepped his attack.

"Damn you Shinji!" he shouted at me, as he stumbled around, trying to regain his balance.

"Damn yourself!" I yelled, before kicking him down the pit like he had tried to do to me. Flailing his arms as he fell over the edge, Zouken disappeared from my sight – and, a few seconds later, I heard the splash of a body hitting the water.

A curious part of me wanted to see if he had survived the fall. Most of me, though, just didn't really care – and so I quickly decided to turn around and walk out of this creepy ass basement.

Unfortunately for my sanity, however, I wasn't able to leave this place fast enough.

"What a useless boy, that Shinji," echoed Zouken's voice from the well, answering the question of his survival. "Well, no matter, I'll just take matters into my own hands. What's that, Sharkura? Suck your dick? Don't mind if I do!"

...damn it, Zouken.


End file.
